Assassin Remembers What He Was Doing on 11/22/63

The Onion is so damned funny, but conspiracy theorists need to be marginalized and ridiculed for the crackpots and liars they are:

Saying that he will never forget the events of that fateful day, local man Edgar Denton, 81, told reporters Friday that, five decades later, he could still recall exactly where he was and what he was doing the day he shot and killed former U.S. president John F. Kennedy.

“Everyone my age has a story about where they were when JFK was assassinated, and I’m no exception,” said Denton, emphasizing that his memories of the Friday morning in which he shouldered his M14 rifle, brought the presidential motorcade into his sights, and sent a bullet into the brain of the 35th president of the United States remain as vivid as ever. “I remember I was in Dallas at the time. Specifically, I was positioned behind a fence at street-level in Dealey Plaza right when I gunned down the president.”