Here It Is

2 a.m. out west and I am struggling to try and get some sleep. I am still numb from yesterday's events.

Now I am worrying about what is going to happen. Once I get my check from May, I am pretty much up the creek. If I can't obtain at least some intermittent work in the meantime, I am basically sunk from finding work out of state. I am not even looking at work in my field; I don't even pretend that I want to even go into the snake pit anymore after going through this. I don't think my psyche could even handle the politics.

The worst thing about it, besides the details of this case, which I obviously don't want to get into too much detail since it is being appealed and arbitrated and all of that, and I am posting under my real name, is the fact I am past 50, and there is the element of discrimination in employment. I honestly don't think I am even employable anymore. I had maybe 8 to 10 years at most left in my working career, and now it is just a total mess. A complete and total mess.

I just don't know where to go or what to do. I felt odd about even trying to solicit donations; I will never be a fundraiser of any kind because I don't have the gift of gab.