And While I Try to Fill This Blog

with useless junk, what better way to do scrapbooking than doing it while listening to the bootleg classic Elvis' Greatest Shit, which was released a couple of years after Presley's death. It was part of a bumper crop of bootleg LPs that were very popular until the FBI cracked down on the market in the early 1980s. This particular album, while sporting the notorious National Enquirer photograph of Elvis in his coffin and including a faux "prescription" from Dr. Nick, is actually a lot of fun to listen to. It is truly the worst of the Elvis Presley catalogue, with most of the cuts coming from his movie years. You know, those horrible movies both critics and Elvis hated.

What saves this collection is Elvis' sense of humor. The listener can detect Elvis trying to stifle a laugh on these tracks. He knew the songs were ridiculous (certainly the listener knows it), but he was going to make the best of it. "Highlights" include the following tracks: "Old MacDonald Had a Farm," "Ito Eats," "There's No Room to Rhumba in a Sports Car," "Confidence" (a ripoff of Sinatra's "High Hopes), "Yoga Is as Yoga Does" (I LOVE this song!), "Ft. Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce," "Scratch My Back and I'll Scratch Yours," "Queenie Wahine's Papaya," and "Do the Clambake."

What is odd though is the inclusion of the Presley classic "U.S. Male," which was one of his best of the 1960s. The bootleggers either couldn't find enough truly awful songs or they included this one as a contrast to the low quality of the remaining cuts.

My favorite cut on here is "Poison Ivy League," which is hilarious and reminds me of a certain slacker who rose to the top of the political dung heap:

The ra-ra boys will go to bed so early tonight
Before exams they need a lot of rest
They gotta make good for dad
They gotta make good for bad
They'll even pay someone to take the test

Poison ivy league, boys in that ivy league
How can they flunk, they're so full of bunk
That poison ivy league

The ra-ra boys are being groomed for business some day
For better things to college they were sent
And you can bet they'll be the head of the company
As long as dear old daddy's president

Poison ivy league, boys in that ivy league
So loaded with cash, they give me a rash
That poison ivy league

The complete lyrics are at the website Find the Fun. I wasn't going to type all of the lyrics and get in trouble.

What is truly frightening is Elvis at his worst was so much better than many entertainers at their best.